As the list of Fifty Lashes players on the disabled list grows, I feel the need to shed a silent tear for each one of them, tumblr-style.
Michael Morse (First baseman for the Washington Nationals)
Mr. Morse’s six-week stint on the disabled list is almost up! So I am hopeful that his return to the Nationals next week will help to boost my points, and give him a much-needed opportunity to flutter his lashes on the diamond.
Cory Luebke (Starting pitcher for the San Diego Padres)
My lengthy-lashed-lefty, Mr. Luebke, is out with a strained left elbow. Out for 15 days.
Justin Morneau (Designated hitter for the Minnesota Twins)
Mr. Morneau and his light but long lashes are taking a break to heal his sore wrist. Out for 15 days.
Jayson Werth (Out fielder for the Washington Nationals)
While attempting to make a sliding catch, Mr. Werth broke his left wrist. For a particularly gorey description of the breakage, check this ESPN fantasy blog post. Out for 6 weeks.
Evan Longoria (Third baseman for the Tampa Bay Rays)
A torn hamstring is preventing Mr. Longoria from earning points for the Fifty Lashes. Out for 4-8 weeks.
Brett Gardner (Out fielder for the New York Yankees)
After straining his elbow, Mr. Gardner has been on the disabled list since April 18. Here’s hoping he’ll be back to add some speed to the Lashes roster as of next week.
Angel Pagan (Out fielder for the San Francisco Giants)
The man with one of the most confused names in baseball, Mr. Pagan, is having some hamstring difficulties and will sit out at least one game this week.
Ruben Tejada (Second baseman, short stop, for the New York Mets)
Recently picked up from free agency, Mr. Tejada is suffering from overly tight quadriceps. After having an MRI, he has been placed on the disabled list.
Ryan Vogelsong (Starting pitcher for the San Francisco Giants)
If all goes well, and those injections in to his back work, Mr. Vogelsong will not miss any games.
So there you have it, the sad tale of possibly the most injury-prone team in my league. Lucky their eyes are so pretty, or I’d be having serious doubts about my team’s talents.